Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (stephenwayne) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:24:56 GMT

Someone needs to clean this bachelor pad;

the dust and dog hair, and that scary stuff

growing in your shower is creepy! - Dad!

I grabbed two cold beers from the frig and gruff-

it back in place."...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (D G Anthony) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:12:47 GMT

To Die For

Aunt Bessie has a talent: when she bakes
the flavour drives you wild. My cousins say
their father Tim, a regular gourmet,
married her for love-of chocolate cakes.

Poor Uncle Tim was feeling far from well-
in fact, was on his deathbed-when the scent
of baking half-revived him. Off he went
to find the source of that seductive smell.

Each step was painful as he tottered down
to taste the treat. At last his feeble hand...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Susan Eckenrode) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:12:52 GMT

Thanks to all of you for such entertaining examples of the form.

One more before I go,
versified this afternoon from joke a friend told at the gym.

A shy divorcee, sitting at the bar
was chatting with her girlfriends after work,
when all heads turned at once to watch the star
who swaggered by. They twittered, "Look it's Dirk.
I can't believe a man can look that good
at 50 and I hear he's great in bed!"
His blue eyes...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (kat) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 17:34:23 GMT

Hi David,

Sorry to hear about the plagiarism. Unfortunately, I go through this at least once a year-teenaged girls apparently feel my poems say everything they cannot....

I understand that blonde & blond correspond to the feminine & masculine forms in French, and that this usage is retained in Britain, but America, since the 1970's, has preferred the gender-neutral blond.
I'm a creature of my culture.

Some excellent poems in this thread!...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (D G Anthony) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:07:28 GMT

Good one.
Should be blonde, though.

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Mike Alexander) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:38:27 GMT

hooray!

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (kat) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 06:44:44 GMT

The blond turns to a colleague after work
says TGIF in a sprightly tone.
He answers SHIT, with a smirk
then fumbles in his briefcase for his phone.
Undaunted, TGIF! she replies
as they approach the elevator door.
He holds it open, shakes his head and sighs
SHIT! He stares down at the floor.

They ride in silence, exit from the car.
She can't resist, addresses him again
It means: Thank God...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Susan Eckenrode) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:31:37 GMT
She hurries off, neglects to check the gauge,
then notices the needle nudging E.
Already past the red light warning stage,
her car is running on its fumes. Though she
will usually respect the local limit,
it worries her to think of getting stuck
beside the road alone. Her fear's so grim it
blinds her to the cruiser---drat the luck,
the Texaco's just three miles down the road.
"Hey, what's the hurry miss?" the cop inquires....

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (stephenwayne) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:04:07 GMT

Well Dave, just remember that emulation is great flattery. Changing one or two words and trying to lay claim to some one's intellectual property is obvious plagiarism that even the stupidest of jurist could see. Everything you publish on the Internet is date and time sensitive - there is a cyber trail to all your creations published herein. So, if this thief makes some substantial money using your creation (which he obviously thinks has great merit) sue him - and we'll all be your...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Celimlodyn) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:51:03 GMT
The archeologists came out and dug Ivar's
old farm up. They got down twenty feet and found a block
of sculpted stone. And Ivar bragged in all the bars,
"Two hundred years before were highways built of rock!"

Yohnsson's field was next. They dug to thirty feet
and found a grid of copper wire. "Roads of stones!"
scoffed Yonny. "I'll bet you guys dat dis vun can't be beat:
t'ree hundred years ago, de Sioux used...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (D G Anthony) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:35:18 GMT
Interesting discussion on plagiarism at Eratosphere:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=8342

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (stephenwayne) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:32:00 GMT
One great American humorist said:
The art of story telling, is telling;
ramble and wind at will - then raise the dead.

Sentiment and chivalry always sells,
snake-oil science is great beer and circus,
blind poets still tell - the tallest of tales.

Hang your conscience and free your sanity!
Young pessimists, and sad old optimists,
all live and die - so laugh at vanity.

Eat drink and be merry, today we live;
tomorrow the tax...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (yolhanson) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 02:30:41 GMT
(I hope the topic hasn't been done, but...)

The Stoning

Jerusalem, first century. The mob

have gathered all the stones that they could haul,

and bigger ones to finish off the job

on some poor sinner, cowering at the wall.

http://te-in.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=24246650931&topic=9356

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Tinkering) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:29:24 GMT
The highway officer said "Listen, Jim
One-fifty miles is loads above the limit,
get used to use your feet and,dim-wit:
The judge might listen to your sobbing hymn,
but I am effing fed up to the brim
with fairy-tales, tomorrow I will quit
a thirty-years tour, so lets cut the shit
and move: or else I`ll drive you on your rim.

If, on the other hand yours' is a story
I haven`t heard yet, you`ll go free, so quack:
Qouth Jim: Well,...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (D G Anthony) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 14:48:17 GMT
Good one, Mike.
Here's another:

Situation Vacant

My cousins have a strong religious...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Mike Alexander) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:04:55 GMT
Three guys just getting to the pearly gate
are told that driving in the afterlife
depends on being faithful to one's mate,
monogamy between a man & wife.

David had been the spouse extraordinaire;
he drove off in a splendid limousine.
Neil had a most-unsavory affair;
his SUV's paintjob was pukey green.

Alan was saddled with a one-hoss shay.
I'll let you guess how he mis-spent his years.
So these three tooled around,...

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Susan Eckenrode) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 08:48:09 GMT
I remember Jude. She was a wonderful teacher and poet. I didn't get to know very her long as her illness took her shortly after I started posting on the internet, but in that short time I learned a lot from her knowledgeable and patient critiquing style.
Thank you for this delightful contribution.

Re: Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (D G Anthony) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 10:39:15 GMT
(In the early Blomquistian days it was the custom--well, my custom anyway--to include SC regulars as protagonists in our stories. Jude was Judy Peet, a lovely lady and excellent poet, who died untimely a few years ago.)

Invitation to a thread of Blomquistian Sonnets

feeds@yuku.com (Susan Eckenrode) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:30:34 GMT
Here's my versification of a joke Mike mentioned in my "Bless their Hearts" thread.

Overheard at the Mall

Three southern ladies, lunching at the mall
food court on Chick-fil-a and sweet iced tea
compare designer bags when one says, " Y'all
forgive me if I brag a bit, you see,
next week my baby girl will graduate
from Duke and she's the Valedictorian."
The others squeal and gush, "That's really...